BE WHO YOU NEEDED

What a strange thing it is to be young...

to rely on everyone around you almost entirely.

This thought was recently thrust upon me after I stumbled across a panicking child on my silly little mental health walk into town.

She was running,

fast.

Looking over the edge of the bridge with trembling hands and as I approached I started to sense her fear.

Being shy, I rarely make conversation with new people.

However, I've spent years working with children so if I couldn't speak to a child, who could I speak to, right?

I know you think I'm pathetic..

But I did it!

She was in need, and when people need help, my own worry has the ability to push itself aside.

"You okay?" I asked, adjusting my voice to teacher mode.

She replied, panting.

"I've lost my friend, I didn't realise I made her sad and she ran away from me! She also has my phone so I can't text anyone!"

-perhaps an inappropriate side note, but these children and their phones am I right? I'm aware I currently sound like a BOOMER and perhaps there's a positive in there somewhere. Something about how if she still had her hands on it, she would have been able to ask someone for assistance. BUT she didn't.

ANYWAY..

Instantly, my brain delved into prioritisation station (good phrase).

Where did they come from? Where were they going? What did she look like? What was she wearing?

She gave me answers as I was fighting my own stress away again, fully preparing myself to have to call the police or walk with her to a safer somewhere.

A grand total of two minutes later, her friend appears round the corner.

Shuffling timidly, clearly incredibly embarrassed that her friend had snitched on her to a scary looking adult.

Thank goodness.

They reassured me they would sort through their disagreement and get to their destination together.

So off I went.

It was then that the thoughts hit me.

In that moment she was completely reliant on someone around her to notice her distress and step in.

In a state of crisis, searching for someone to guide her back down to the ground.

Someone safe and willing.

And I was there, and what a gift that is.

I can think of so many times I felt how she must have when I was young. Can you?

Yet, I was failed, let down and pushed aside.

I spent a lot of my teenage years feeling I wasn't loved or wanted.

My feet had kept me moving as I shed a few tears, realising that's where it all comes from for me - the motivation to do good.

To be who younger me needed as if my life now depends on it.

-em's epiphanies x

(big love and thank yous for reading my first blog post, come back for more soon)